So um, I wasn't planning on putting up a blog, but after receiving word that there have been rumours of me dying being spread, I guess I should probably do that. Yeah, I'm Nachtide. I suppose I should explain what happened that caused me to leave and why I'm coming back now and why I'm such a bitter person lately.
- I got angry, quite simply. It's not easy waking up in the morning and wondering when the next Wikian is gonna try to hack you or when the next threat is going to come. I got angry with the people who were supposed to be taking care of the chat-room, because I genuinely did not feel like my opinion was respected in any regard. I felt like that for somebody who has been a member for almost 4 years, my thoughts were taken as somebody's who hasn't even been here for a month. I lashed out one night, and I decided that I wanted to leave. I cut all ties to Wikia, minus one or two people. I wanted to end all the connections, but you can't really leave behind your best friend, can you?
Why am I back?
- Quite simple. I got bored. I mean, I love drawing and writing, but I like having social interaction with people outside of my school. I find that the most irritating part of being back is the constant mention of my leave/absence. Perhaps I deserve it. Perhaps not.
Why am I bitter?
- Lots of rough things happened in my life in the month I was gone. My depression has started getting another grip on me. I find myself sleeping crazy hours (50 hours in 3-4 days). As if it isn't enough, I am sick. My family's money situation is rough. But the most important thing is that I don't trust many people now. I'm not the Nachtide who loves everybody, now. I'm a Porcelain Mirror who has lost trust in those who she thought to be friends here- because they made a constant joke of her feelings and selfies-for-avatars.
What's gonna happen from here?
- I don't know. Perhaps I'll leave in another month's time, and never return. Perhaps I will stay until I graduate high school next year. Honestly, I'm not sure what's gonna go on. I just know that I have those I genuinely trust here and now and with that knowledge, I can finally move forward.