My Top Ten Gaming Moments (Thus Far…)

10. Barry, It’s a Lobster???

When I were a nipper, and resident evil 1 had just been released. This marked, for me, the start of actually feeling emotions from a video games. When the living dead dogs come crashing through the windows on the ground floor of the Spencer mansion I vividly remember screaming, dropping the pad in terror and being laughed at by my older brothers mates (to be fair I was 9 when Resident Evil came out). This memory stays with me and my love for zombies, gaming and being scared half to death stems directly from Capcom skilled Japanese coders. Shame about the ridiculous voice acting.

9. Ooh, a 1994 Honda Prelude! That’ll Do Nicely…

… Are words I’m reasonably confidant no-one except me has ever said. Gran Tourismo, the car simulator, was the first game I ever stayed up all night playing. From your first frustrations at trying to get the licences to buying and tuning a rally car GT was undoubtedly one of my most treasured gaming memories. The thing I most remember though is taking my TVR Griffith on the endurance race (again an all nighter) and winning, after being lapped half way through. It was epic!

8. 'Коммунистическая геометрии'

The one and only time I’ve been to the USA I took my grey Gameboy and Tetris. The flight was 10 hours and the film was something really dire. I spent the whole flight playing Tetris and actually completed it. If your interested: all that happens is a Soviet-looking rocket slowly takes off and then you’re back to the main screen. Not the best of ending but how many people have actually completed Tetris on the Gameboy? I know of only one other.

7. Gimmie Your Arms & Torso!!!

Without a doubt my all time favourite Megadrive game was Cyborg Justice. I won’t go into great detail but it was essentially streets of rage with robots. The element which I remember most about this game is that you can tactically rip bits off of the enemies and, if you fancy a bit of theirs, attach their bits to your own robot. Good times.

6. Attaching a Remote Mine to Hagrids’ Face!

I’m really not a fan of Nintendo consoles but they did do one thing right: Goldeneye on the N64 was just amazing. I loved the multiplayer death matches the greatest. However, heroes having feet of clay and all that, I played it again recently and I remember thinking: “What a pile of wank!” and laughing whilst pointing at Alec Trevelyan and saying “Look, Boromir has hooves!”

5. Boom, Headshot! Multikill! Rampage!!! Godlike!!!!!

Aside from RTS games I don’t usually like to bother my PC with gaming as it seems if you don’t have £6k to blow on a new Alienware tower every time a new game comes out then games just fail on PC. But to fully appreciate Unreal Tournament you have to have it on windows, on a network with your mates and let the gore ensue! This game really got me into the FPS genre. It’s fast, ultra violent and featured the best (but not the most true-to-life) sniper rifle mechanics of any game. It was fully all about the sniper rifle. Headshot after headshot after, you guessed it, headshot! The sequels didn’t grab me in the same way and I still play UT from time to time! The unreal engine is still used today by the likes of Bioshock and Borderlands

4. Slight Overkill Methinks?

People bang on about GTA:IV like it shit pure gold but aside from the multiplayer I did not get on with it. Sure the Niko Bellic is a protagonist which people can associate with but Rockstar, for all the effort they put in, have failed in my eyes to deliver anything near as good as San Andreas. Where’s my Harrier? Where’s my country side to razz about on with my monster truck? Where’s my secret military bass with S.A.M sites and mysterious green slime? GTA: San Andreas was all about the rampages for me. Me and my mates sat about mindlessly killing and coming up with ever more elaborate suicides and stunts. My all time favourite was getting the multiplayer on, strapping the Sanchez with as many satchel charges as possible. Then at high speed ramp off of mount chiliad while setting off the charges sending you into the cosmos in smithereens!! That kind of joy is nowhere in GTA4, and everywhere in San Andreas

3. War, War Never Changes!

Fallout, not just the unparalleled outings using the Gamebryo engines, but the whole series is one of the most brilliantly conceived stories to ever make it into my games collection. If I have to choose my favourite part of any fallout game (so far as New Vegas is out today and I’m FULLY itching to play it later on) it would have to be the destruction of Megaton at the hands of the lone wanderer from the comfort of Tenpenny Tower as it is the best rendered explosion of any video game ever. I saved the game just before the red button time just so I can do it over and over, as twisted as that may be.

2. War Has Changed!

Metal Gear Solid! Every sequel and prequel has etched its mark on my mind. I genuinely care about Solid Snake and share the pain of the operator who screams “Snake, Snake? Snaaaaaaaake!” as Snake lies dying. My most memorable part of any MGS I think is in MGS3: Snake Eater. Everything about this game is beautiful and elegant and fantastical, but the moment which I’ve chosen for comment in particular is the sniper battle with The End. This was the first time I ever felt a chill down my spine as I wondered where the next bullet was going to come from. There were myriad ways of battling the end but all tactics had to be planned as ad lib rushing always ended in a tranquillizer round to the face. My favoured Methods were: a) capturing his Alexandrine Parakeet, then releasing it to see where it goes (Straight back to its master) then popping a sniper round into his mush. b) Using the directional microphone to listen to him dosing off for a sleepy. Then sneaking up behind the ancient marksman with a shotgun and shouting “FREEZE!!”

1. In Mr. Peter Douglas Molyneux (OBE) We Trust!

This spot is reserved for Lionhead Studios. This is how much I trust that Fable III is going to be the video game which makes all other games look and feel like Pong! Just look at Pedro’s track record: Populous, Theme Park, Dungeon Keeper, Black and White, the Fable series and The Movies are among his creations. Watch this space! For the crème de la crème of UK coders have been incubating this game for a while and it’ll blow you far, far away!!!