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I stood there, staring at your back. I wanted to say something. To shout, to scream. To let out all I had left in me. But I couldn't. I couldn't shout. I couldn't scream. I couldn't let out a noise. I stood there, staring at you as you went away from me. 



That day, I lost myself. Really. I had always dreamed of this day as the best day ever. I had loved you, and not cared if you were a drug addict or an alchoholic.You were a chained smoker, I couldn't care less. But that day, you ruined me. You left me at the alter, all dressed up like a bride, and you like a groom, and walked off like nothing happened. Nothing changed.


Nothing finished.


"Leave, now!" I hear Mom say. She knows, you know. What you did that day wasn't because you wanted to. You did that because your mother blackmailed you. She told you she would ruin me if you married me. But Dad doesn't know. And Mom must obey him. Or else you know what will happen.


"I love your daughter. Give me a moment to explain." Nothing can be explained, my love. Nothing.


"Get away from her. You shall never see her again. She's stained. She has been left on the alter and shall never marry again. She shall never meet a man again. She shall not lead a life like a normal lady. You had ruined her, and finished her. Leave right away. Or else, cops would be here any moment."


"I just need a moment with her. That's all I ask for."


"NO! SHE'S NO MORE, YOU HEAR THAT? SHE KILLED HERSELF! SHE KILLED HERSELF WAITING FOR YOU! AND NO ONE WAS THERE! NOT YOU, NOT ME, NOT HER DAD, NO ONE! GET LOST! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!"


I know mother was lying. I know she wanted you to go away, no matter what lies she must say in order to do that. I look at the knife laying beside me. Then at my wrist. 


I ended it once and for all.


Goodbye, love. I loved you till my last breath. And you shall be happy with a wife, and two kids, a boy and a girl, and live a normal life.


Never cry over me. I am all right. I am where I was supposed to be the day you left me in the alter. I was supposed to end it then and there only. But I don't know what held me.


You made it. And so did your mother.


I love you.


xx


- Your love.





Drops of tears fall from his face as he doesn't even try to wipe them off. They keep falling from hsis eyes, and it makes no difference. None. He feels empty. He feels shallow.


He feels lonely.

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